About a month ago I got an email from a good friend with the subject line “Karen sent you photos on Tagged :) ”

I clicked and got: “Karen W**** sent you photos on Tagged.  Want to see the Photos?” and two big buttons “Yes” and “No.”  Then it added “Please respond or Karen might think you said no. :( ”

I didn’t want Karen to think I said no, so I clicked yes.

This took me to the Tagged site, where I had to fill out sceeen after screen before I could see the photos.  I got as far as uploading a photo, and then realized I was being sucked into something I didn’t want to do, and I quit.

Soon my in-box was filling up with messages from “Tagged”:

Jay R sent you a message…
Henry Z winked at you…
Chris F clicked YES on you….
John S added you as friend….
Bruce R commented on your photos….

I ignored them, but decided to check one out today.  I read the message first (one long paragraph – I broke it up into sections for your benefit and deleted whole sections):

how are you? my name is john. i live south of pittsburgh in a town call canonsburg.i came back last year from iraq. my unit got deploy in jan.21,05 till june 21,06. i am retired now as of nov 19,2006 22 years from the military. i work for coca cola.there i work alot of hours but i could make some kind of arrangement to met with the right on.

i read your profile. you sound like a very beautiful lady and a beautiful lady like yourself deserves a beautiful poem.Just as a wave is lifted by the shore, Then breaks across the slowly rising sand, So as I watch you weep my feelings pour Across the wash of what I understand. I wish I could just take you in my arms And all your pain could melt into my chest, And all the violence of passing storms Could pass through me and finally come to rest. No words can set things right or presence lend A miracle to light your darkened way, But there is solace in a loving friend And comfort in what I don’t have to say. Whatever circumstance you cannot bear, Just turn to me, and you will find me there.

well i hope you like it. it goes with a beautiful lady. i hope i hear from you. at least let me know something not just delete me. i am a very nice guy once you get to know me. here is my e-mail address,home phone number and cell cokeman***@hotmail,com,724-745-**** and 724-766-****

Well – with an intro like that I HAD to read his profile.

Here is John S’s “About Me, which I read while blasted with very sappy love songs from the website (My daughter MADE me turn my sound off after a few minutes):

I like to treat a lady like a woman, best friend and lover not a queen. I want to be wanted and loved as I long to want & love the one and only woman in my life. I want to be in a relationship where if one is weak the other supports and we both become a force of one.

I want the lady who gets ready for bed at night, takes a shower and instead of wearing something feminine, sneaks into one of my dress shirts with just one button – buttoned. I want the lady that throws that button away in the morning (since it will most definitely fly off sometime that night) and not sew it back on like a good little lady..

I want the smell of my cologne and have that be the last thing she smell as I leave the house not the hour old coffee. I want to wake her up in the morning, have coffee on the deck,her curled up in my lap, and watch the sun come up.

I want her to greet me when i come home after a long day wearing something feminine I did not wear to bed, and greet me with a hug and kiss.

I emailed this to my boyfriend Luris (match.com Sept 2008)  and he wrote back:

My favorite line:  “I want her to greet me when I come home after a  long day wearing something feminine I did not wear to bed, and greet me with a hug and kiss.”

I want that too, sweety.  When i come home after a long day wearing something feminine I didn’t wear to bed…  wait… when I come home I want YOU to wear something feminine I didn’t wear to bed… no wait… I want YOU to be wearing something feminine that YOU didn’t… no… I’m so confused.  Let me put on my bra and panties and think this out properly.

I couldn’t leave well enough alone and had to check out the rest of p John’s site. After viewing his 239 friends (http://www.tagged.com/friends.html?uid=5379831889#filterpg=All_0)- I came upon this appeal in size 18, deep red font, all caps.  (The bold I added myself):

PYSICAL ATTRACTION WHAT IS IT? IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PERSON THATS GOING TO TREAT YOU RIGHT. THATS GOOD. BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR  PERSON THATS LOOKS ARE INPORTANT AND DON’T SPEND TIME WITH YOU THAT WRONG. SPEND THE TIME WITH THE PERSON AND DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THERE ISN’T NO GOOD MEN BECUSE THERE ARE LOTS OF US OUT THERE. LIKE US FOR WHO WE ARE NOT FOR WHAT WE LOOK LIKE OR WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU. SPEND TIME WITH US BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN

LOOKING FOR A BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY WOMAN THATS WANTS TO BE TREATED LIKE A REAL WOMAN PLEASE APPLY

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