Pittsburgh Internet Dating Stories

About a month ago I got an email from a good friend with the subject line “Karen sent you photos on Tagged :)”

I clicked and got: “Karen W**** sent you photos on Tagged.  Want to see the Photos?” and two big buttons “Yes” and “No.”  Then it added “Please respond or Karen might think you said no. :(”

I didn’t want Karen to think I said no, so I clicked yes.

This took me to the Tagged site, where I had to fill out sceeen after screen before I could see the photos.  I got as far as uploading a photo, and then realized I was being sucked into something I didn’t want to do, and I quit.

Soon my in-box was filling up with messages from “Tagged”:

Jay R sent you a message…
Henry Z winked at you…
Chris F clicked YES on you….
John S added you as friend….
Bruce R commented on your photos….

I ignored them, but decided to check one out today.  I read the message first (one long paragraph - I broke it up into sections for your benefit and deleted whole sections):

how are you? my name is john. i live south of pittsburgh in a town call canonsburg.i came back last year from iraq. my unit got deploy in jan.21,05 till june 21,06. i am retired now as of nov 19,2006 22 years from the military. i work for coca cola.there i work alot of hours but i could make some kind of arrangement to met with the right on.

i read your profile. you sound like a very beautiful lady and a beautiful lady like yourself deserves a beautiful poem.Just as a wave is lifted by the shore, Then breaks across the slowly rising sand, So as I watch you weep my feelings pour Across the wash of what I understand. I wish I could just take you in my arms And all your pain could melt into my chest, And all the violence of passing storms Could pass through me and finally come to rest. No words can set things right or presence lend A miracle to light your darkened way, But there is solace in a loving friend And comfort in what I don’t have to say. Whatever circumstance you cannot bear, Just turn to me, and you will find me there.

well i hope you like it. it goes with a beautiful lady. i hope i hear from you. at least let me know something not just delete me. i am a very nice guy once you get to know me. here is my e-mail address,home phone number and cell cokeman***@hotmail,com,724-745-**** and 724-766-****

Well - with an intro like that I HAD to read his profile.

Here is John S’s “About Me, which I read while blasted with very sappy love songs from the website (My daughter MADE me turn my sound off after a few minutes):

I like to treat a lady like a woman, best friend and lover not a queen. I want to be wanted and loved as I long to want & love the one and only woman in my life. I want to be in a relationship where if one is weak the other supports and we both become a force of one.

I want the lady who gets ready for bed at night, takes a shower and instead of wearing something feminine, sneaks into one of my dress shirts with just one button - buttoned. I want the lady that throws that button away in the morning (since it will most definitely fly off sometime that night) and not sew it back on like a good little lady..

I want the smell of my cologne and have that be the last thing she smell as I leave the house not the hour old coffee. I want to wake her up in the morning, have coffee on the deck,her curled up in my lap, and watch the sun come up.

I want her to greet me when i come home after a long day wearing something feminine I did not wear to bed, and greet me with a hug and kiss.

I emailed this to my boyfriend Luris (match.com Sept 2008)  and he wrote back:

My favorite line:  “I want her to greet me when I come home after a  long day wearing something feminine I did not wear to bed, and greet me with a hug and kiss.”

I want that too, sweety.  When i come home after a long day wearing something feminine I didn’t wear to bed…  wait… when I come home I want YOU to wear something feminine I didn’t wear to bed… no wait… I want YOU to be wearing something feminine that YOU didn’t… no… I’m so confused.  Let me put on my bra and panties and think this out properly.

I couldn’t leave well enough alone and had to check out the rest of p John’s site. After viewing his 239 friends (http://www.tagged.com/friends.html?uid=5379831889#filterpg=All_0)- I came upon this appeal in size 18, deep red font, all caps.  (The bold I added myself):

PYSICAL ATTRACTION WHAT IS IT? IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PERSON THATS GOING TO TREAT YOU RIGHT. THATS GOOD. BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR  PERSON THATS LOOKS ARE INPORTANT AND DON’T SPEND TIME WITH YOU THAT WRONG. SPEND THE TIME WITH THE PERSON AND DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THERE ISN’T NO GOOD MEN BECUSE THERE ARE LOTS OF US OUT THERE. LIKE US FOR WHO WE ARE NOT FOR WHAT WE LOOK LIKE OR WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU. SPEND TIME WITH US BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN

LOOKING FOR A BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY WOMAN THATS WANTS TO BE TREATED LIKE A REAL WOMAN PLEASE APPLY

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Cathy Day writes about her experiences with Chemistry.com in this excerpt from her book, Comeback Season: How I Learned to Play the Game of Love:

My credit card bill drops through the mail slot, and there’s another $99 charge from Chemistry.com. How can this be? The last time I talked to them, I said I wouldn’t be renewing my membership. So I get on the horn with Chemistry.

“How may we help you today?”

“Yes, I’m calling about an incorrect charge.”

The customer service concierge looks up my account information. “I see that you were charged for another three-month membership.”

“Yes, well, I called you guys a few months ago to complain about the lack of response I was getting, and at that time, I told you I didn’t want to renew my membership.”

The concierge explains that this is not the proper procedure to cancel a membership.

I ask, “So calling customer service and saying, ‘I don’t want to renew,” isn’t the right procedure?”

No, it is not. Apparently, when I joined Chemistry in July, I agreed to their automatic renewal terms. Apparently, I was supposed to cancel my membership online, not over the phone. And I cannot cancel my membership now, today, and receive a pro-rated refund. There’s a deadline after which you’re locked in for the full three months, and that deadline came and went—two days ago.

The concierge says, “Also I see that, since the automatic renewal went into effect, you have used our services.”

I laugh. “No, I haven’t.”

“Yes ma’am, you have,” the matchmaking concierge insists. “I see here that you logged in a few weeks ago and communicated with a Robert?”

Robert the Gambler! I forgot about that. I wanted to ask him a dumb question: “When you say that a woman must love to gamble, do you mean that literally or figuratively?” The answer—literally—is going to cost me $99.

“Look,” I say, “I wouldn’t have logged in if I thought it was going to cost me anything. I assumed you were giving me free time on my membership, like you do for men.”

Silence. “Ma’am, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I would like to ask you one question. How many male members do you have within a twenty mile radius of Pittsburgh?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have that—”

No! Strike that! How many ACTIVE male members do you have within a twenty mile radius of Pittsburgh?”

“We don’t have that information available.”

“Oh, but I’m sure you do! Somewhere in that computer of yours, I’ll bet you know exactly how many men use Chemistry in the Pittsburgh area. I’m a consumer, and I deserved to know that information so I could decide if I was going to get my money’s worth, because let me tell you, I did NOT get my money’s worth from your service.”

Pause. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but we can’t make any guarantees. Basically, we only provide a means for people to communicate with each other.”

“Communicate…with…each…other,” I say, drawing those words out. “Exactly. Look in your computer there and see how many men actually responded to my profile.”

“I see a Rick…”

“Yes, Rick, who informed me that he hasn’t paid for his Chemistry membership in a long time. He told me that he thinks you guys don’t have enough men on your roll to satisfy female customers, so you just keep giving men like him free renewals!”

“No, ma’am. That is not our policy.”

“Aren’t you owned by the same company as Match.com?”

Pause. “Yes.”

“Well, here’s what I think. You guys were sending me profiles of men who don’t actually subscribe to Chemistry. They subscribe to Match.com. You borrowed their information from Match to artificially inflate your rolls and keep women like me happy!”

“No, ma’am. That is not our policy.”

“Why should I have to pay $99…TWICE…when a man doesn’t have to pay anything? That is a discriminatory. You’re taking advantage of women.”

“No, ma’am. That is not our policy.”

I’m so mad, I don’t know what to do with myself. “You’re not going to do anything to help me, are you? You’re going to charge me another $99 and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it?”

The concierge maintains a neutral tone. “There’s nothing I can do.”

“Put this in your computer. When this three-month membership is over, it’s over. Got it?”

“Yes. I’ll take care of it.”

“Good!”

I hang up the phone and scream so loud that my cat jumps straight up in the air. Then I call my mom. “These people…these people!” I stammer.

“Cathy? What’s wrong?”

I tell her exactly what’s wrong.

Mom sighs. “You know, when you started doing this, I was afraid for you. I thought the men you met might turn out to be bad people. But so far, they’ve turned out to be pretty normal. Pretty nice.”

“I know! It’s these snake oil salesmen who’re driving me crazy!”

“They should be ashamed of themselves,” Mom says.

“I don’t think they give a shit,” I sigh. “You know what I’m going to do?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to prove I was right. I’ve seen guys on Match who I know I saw on Chemistry. I’m going to contact them and ask if they really joined Chemistry or not.”

“You go get ‘em!”

“Thanks, Mom.”

So Cathy - did you contact them? Were they paying for Chemistry.com? Other women I know form Pittsburgh who used the service reported that all their potential matches were from out of state.

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Bill, a friend from Bethel Park,  alerted me to this online dating scam. He received winks from an attractive woman on match.com telling him to look for her on another site (see Middle-Aged Men Beware Part 1.) He was curious and went to the site, but did not create a profile. He still got tons of winks and emails from women there. He did a bit of research and found the following thread: Subject: Scam alert….avoid Heartdetectives.com

By: victim of love
Possibly every one knows about this scam except me. You can create a free profile then they send fake responses to your mailbox. Naturally to read these teasers you have to pay a fee to join. Once the fee is paid all correspondence ceases and your left feeling like a chump. Please BEWARE of Heartdetectives.com it is a total sham.

By: Jonathan
These scammers are posting bogus profiles on Match.com — referring you to write to them at “meet fun singles,” which is “meetfunsingles.com”, a sister site to Heartdetectives. I’m reporting them to Match.com customer services as I come across them, or when they allegedly “wink” at me. These scammers are evil

By: Foolish Heart
Ah, poop. I had a feeling I’d been had. Wish I’d found this site earlier… but the first post about this scam occured the day I signed up for it. I’m a very good computer guru, and I got readily had by this one. Same scenario as the first posting, but I was also on another site at the time when I was contacted by another interested person… who mentioned that they use “Seek True Love.” (Same site; different name.) I probably wouldn’t have touched this site with a 10 foot cattle prod, except that “someone” else had recommended it. I’m such a fool for love.

By: Tainted
Yea, they suck for sure. I was on LoveAccess, which isn’t bad, and this chick emailed me. Should have seen it coming cuz the email said “I’m also on heartdetectives so try me there is this doesn’t work out” duh, what a dupe. Anyway, plentyoffish.com is a kickass site, and totally free. That’s where I’m staying from now on, in the free zone. Between the russain scams and the date site scams, this is starting to feel like real dating.

By: elves
Likewise scammed, tempted beyond reason, but hesitated long enough to find this site. Match caught the embedded message & deleted that part of it today, several days later. I should have known something was up when that wink appeared from a beautiful younger woman, whose address on Match changed within the week to out-of-state.By: MeI just got a couple of emails from Heart Detectives saying I had a flirt and a new email, the only thing is that I have never created a profile on this site. I requested my user ID and password and what they sent me is an ID and password I use. Anyone know what other sites they affiliated with? The only place I use that ID and password is on yahoo. Anyone have any ideas?

By: RYRYI
just recieved an email from a girl, and I mean a good looking girl with all the same interests as me….blew me away. She said…if you dont find me here I’m always at meet funsingles.com. I almost took the bait but found this site at the same time I was trying to sign up for that site. It wouldn’t take any of my email addresses for the “free membership”. I was thinking still…who the hell is using my company emails for dating sites? then i read these complaints and it all makes sense. STAY AWAY FROM THESE FUCKERS

By: StreetRodder75
Ya… I had a membership there because I had about 12 emails waiting for me, and a few people emailed me more than once… I joined up, replied and never heard anything from anyone. Yet a week after replying, I got notifications that the same people are winking me…Why would people send me 2 emails, not reply to my email, and then later wink me? Makes no sense.

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If you were a 44-year old man, would you believe this wink was genuine?Most guys instinctively know there is something fishy about this. Young beautiful women don’t need to troll the Internet for men many states away to find dates.But what is you add a few years, a few flaws, and slightly more natural looking photos. If you were a man, would you be excited if you got a wink from this 32-year old woman? :Here’s the profile:

I am a girl who loves to laugh and have a good time. I am able to wear all of the hats appropriately! I am classy, poised, yet wild, and adventurous. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family, dining out, being outdoors, and finding new things to experience!!I don’t make my bed every morning, I love to cook, take midnight swims, and long walks, but these are soooo much better when accompanied by a great man.

It has been quite awhile since my last relationship as I have been busy with work, but I’m at the point now where I am ready to get out there and have some serious fun. I’m hoping I can meet someone who can show me a great time as I assure you, I will show YOU a wonderful time as well!

Another thing, considering I’m not a member here yet, it may be difficult to reach me until I become one, otherwise I can be reached at another place called, seekintimacy. With that said, hopefully what I’ve written gives you a good idea of who I am and what I’m about.

This happened to my friend Bill on Match.com. He was curious enough to go to seekintimacy.com. In order to view the girl’s profile and email her, he would have to sign up at $25/month, and he decided not to. But Bill did create a username and password - and supplied the site with his email address.

Suddenly he was inundated with winks and emails from young, beautiful women on seekintimacy.com. This was interesting because he had no photo or profile up on the site. At first he thought it might be his clever username that was attracting attention, but he got suspicious and did some research.

I bet you can guess what the scam is.

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I got this response from Treefrog from my last post (From Russia to Pittsburgh) - It was too good to be a comment - I am making it a post:

—————

I’ve talked to her! That’s Evgenia. But that’s silly, she’s not from Snezhinsk!

She contacted me like this:

From: violet2187ly7

Your ad caught my eye and I would like to get to know you better
….
34-year-old Woman
Barnegat Light, New Jersey, United States
seeking Men 35 - 50

So I asked her for a picture. She responded:

First of all I’d like to thank you for responding me back and I should be honest with you, I live in Russia. I live in a small town with the population 17000 people which is called Baikalsk. It is located not far from big city Irkutsk. It is in Siberia.
Everybody wants to be happy and me too. I am not after money or sugar daddies or better life.
I guess you are interested in my likes and dislikes:

• I am an orphan
• I work as a surgeon in a city hospital
• I like almost all kinds of music but I prefer Classical music and I hate rap.
• My favourite flowers are white lilies
• don’t have tattoos or piercings exept for my ears
• I don’t like winter but winters are usually cold in Russia

I guess that is all for today. Please write me back today or tomorrow.
Your new friend from Russia,Evgenia

She’s a babe! And I was relieved to learn that she disliked rap. I figured she might be asking me for money soon, so I replied like so:

To: Evgenia

Thanks. I’ve always wanted to visit Russia. I first heard of Irkutsk from playing the board game Risk (do you know it?) and of course I know of Lake Baikal from geography class. I see that Baikalsk is right on the lake and has good skiing!

I would like to visit and meet you in Baikalsk! Maybe we could go skiing together?

Unfortunately, I am in debt and I need money if I am going to travel. Do you think you could send me $2000 for my travel expenses to get to Irkutsk? I understand that it’s only $200 or so to Irkutsk from Moscow, on the Trans-Siberian Railway.

I suppose that’s the economical way to come.

I look forward to finally meeting you!

I never heard back from her.

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Men in their 40’s nd 50’s report to me that as soon as they sign up for Internet dating sites, they start to get emails from young beautiful women in their 20’s who can’t wait to meet them. The addresses are local, but the broken English suggests a non-native speaker. (Although, maybe I’m being hasty here - not all school districts prepare their young charges as well as Mt. Lebanon does)

Early in his 7-year online dating career, a friend of mine got hit on by Maria Shishkina (that’s her photo - she is really Russian actress Ekaterina Guseva). Although he did not pursue it, if he had he would have ended up eventually with a letter like this (credit: www.agencyscams.com):

Hello my love!!!

How are you today? I am so happy to read your emails. Sorry for late responding. I think i love you so much you are very handsome man and i always dream about you. I told all about our relationships to my friends and they are very happy to see how i becoming more happy then was before you.

I dont know what else i can tell you but my mind full of words of love and nothing else. Every day i hope that all its real and you are not just my imagination. My friends say you hello. I have some present for you from them. I cant wait our meeting and think about you every day.

I was in travel agency to find out how i can get to fly to you. And be with you on Birthday. I hope we can make it, and i gave your email adress to travel agent and he promised me to send you all information about my trip. But there is one thing if we want to celebrate my birthday with you in your place , you should tell me will you help me or not, cause they will sale that cheap tickets and if we meet later it will cost much more for us and then later as they say it will be much more difficult to get visa which is valid during 1 month i dont know why but they told me that.

Think about it cause i cant afford it, cause i earn only 200 USD here , but you shouldnt worry i will give it back to you your money when we meet, cause i will work in some hospital and can earn some money for you. I am sorry to tell that but i am realy want to be with you. I dont know what else i can tell, you know everithing about me.

Of course if i could i will ask all my friends to lend me some but i dont have any friends who can do it for me , please understand it, soory if it make you sad. I hope you will understand me right. I can speak with all day and night but its better to speak face to face that we can know each other better. Dont you think so.

If you want i can fly to you only for a week and we will see how things go or i can stay with you forever, all in your hands. Ok now i give you a lot of kisses from me, and i give you my heart, and i belive in my dreams to be with you soon. Love you so much. Want to touch you and kiss you.!!! bye for now.

PS I will be waiting for your replay .

From Maria Shishkina with love!!!

Russia, Snezhinsk, Popova
street 15-2

Here is her fake agency’s money letter…

Dear Sir:

Due to the request of Maria Shishkina we send you the information about the tour from Snezhinsk , Russia to the USA Foreign passport - 100 USD Tourist visa for a month , one entry- 125 USD We can offer the next flight on 25 April.

We can’t provide you with the information about the exact time Maria arrives to you, we will have that information as soon as we receive full payment and start arranging the trip. If this time is ok for You and Miss Shishkina, you should make balance payment sooner.

Since our travel agency has discounts, the total price for the trip 989USD is valid for 5 days. Roundtrip tickets with the registration of all the documents for Maria’s flight costs 989USD We arrange all necessary documents and tickets in 8-14 days after receiving the full payment for the trip.

PAYMENT INFO: You can transfer the funds for the trip of Miss Shishkina via MONEY GRAMM or WESTERN UNION system. It is the fastest and the safest way to transfer the funds. Our travel agency is officially registerred as a private businessman Sergey Shibaev, Snezhinsk , Russian Federation .

As soon as you transfer the funds on the name of our director, will you please e-mail us your full name and MTCN (money transfer control number) and we shall get the funds the same or the other day after transfer.

Payment memo: Payment for Invoice 14-742-1829

Order Now You can also transfer the funds for the trip of Miss Shishkina to our bank account and we shall receive the funds in 3-4 working days.

This was an early scam and is pretty obvious, although some people have still got snookered. The scams are getting more sophisticated. I’ll keep you posted.

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