Pittsburgh Internet Dating Stories

I told one of my match dates, ADVENTUROUS, about my blog. I have to be careful because I would never want anyone to think I was using them, mining our dates for stories. When a friend asked me if he could forward my blog to friends of his, I was hesitant; I was afraid if the word got out I would never get a date again. Pittsburgh is a very small town, and many times I have met people through the Internet that I know through mutual friends – we just hadn’t connected before. So I’m cautious with reason.

Being in the Internet business ADVENTUROUS had no problem with the blog, and I guess he has enough confidence not to fear I will turn him into a bad date story. In fact, he has sent me some great profiles, and told me about an entire website dedicated to them: http://www.patheticpersonals.com/

Here’s one he sent:

LOOKING FOR A WHOLESOME MAN+++..(.IM LOOKING for a HUSBAND.)…COMPASHIONATE, MASCULINE MAN ! LOOKING FOR A DADDY, I WANT TO BE THRE BABY GIRL, IM KIND COMPASSHIONATE, CARING, FORGIVING, LUV TO SNUGLE,

…I WANT TO GROW OLD , WITH ONE OLDER MAN, TREAT AS IF I WAS HIS OWN CHILD,…I WANT TO BE SOME ONES BABY GIRL, FOR ETERNITY, ILOVE BEING A WITTLE GIRL FOREVER,

IM FAITHFUL , HONEST, GIVEING, CARING, GENROUS TO A FAULT, NURTURING,SENSitIVE, CENTIMENTAL….im a afraid of the dark, so, im little insecure…, fav singer is KAREN CARPENTER, songs …WEVE ONLY JUST BEGUN…WHITE LACE AND PROMISES…

I LUV, dark hair MUSTACHES GOE T, (MASCULINE,),WARRIOR,,, im not a modal, just youthful thin average down to earth, lil sexy kind of baby girl type, who loves Jesus, wants live a simple wholsome life

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I had been told by an online dating veteran not to bother emailing men – if they hadn’t already winked or emailed me, chances were they were not interested based on my photo and it was a waste of time. It made sense to me (guys are very visual) and so when I got the weekly “Your Matches” email from Match.com I would glance at it but did nothing with the suggested matches.

The email contains 12 short profiles in a row, starting with the highest percentage match and ending with the least. One week, the very last profile, just about to fall off the page, was the following:

zzug

44, Cranberry Township, PA
81% match
6’5″ (195.0cm),
Seeks: Women 42-46

He is currently separated
His faith is Spiritual but not religious
He probably will not want to have kids

I glanced, and then went back and read it again. “Seeks: Women 42-46.” My experience is that most men have a very wide age range – it is not uncommon to a 50-year old man open to dating women between 35 to 55, or even harder on the female ego, between 35 and 49, and I had never seen such a narrow range before. I was within his age range, and I was intrigued so I clicked on the portrait.

Here it went from bad to worse:

I spend the weekends with my Kids, 7 and 8, (and my 20 year old when he is not working), about 4 hours away in Toronto (Mississauga), a nice drive for a weekend getaway.

Its hard to imagine working in Pittsburgh during the week and spending weekends in Toronto, makes it hard to have a relationship let alone start one online! I guess it will be a special someone who can put up with my schedule and hopefully we would be the richer for it.

Now I was really interested, but in a friendly, feeling-sorry-for-the-man sort of way. This man seemed nice, but his situation was impossible – who would date a guy who was gone on the week-end? Plus who knew how long he’d be around – he was Canadian, down here on a temporary “L-1″ visa. I laughed, and shot him my first ever match email. I don’t have a copy of it, but he says I made it very clear in the email I was being friendly and wanted nothing more.

Much to my surprise, after we emailed for a bit, and then met for a drink (a pity date on my part), I ended up really liking him, and we dated for a short time, and then became just “very good friends” (more about this in another post). But while we were dating I would tease him about his impossible profile. He would laugh and say, “It worked, didn’t it? It’s called target marketing.” and I could not disagree.

One thing I learned in Marketing 101 was that if you try to appeal to everyone, you will appeal to no one. How many profile have you read that say, “I like to do anything my date wants to do.” It’s generic and boring. The more specific you are, the more color and flavor you give to your profile. The “Seeks: Women 42-46″ is what caught my eye to click and read further.

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It’s always interesting what people decide is the most important point to stress in their profiles.

Here’s one from an “Attractive, sharp man seeking an Attractive, sharp woman:”

About my life and what I’m looking for
Last time I saw: this is match.com, not matchdog.com, love my pets.com. Please, for your own sake, avoid telling all the prospective men how much you love animals or your dogs and cats and pets and animals. Obviously, enjoying and loving your pet is fine, but showing half the photos of you with your pets, with you dolting over the pets is imprudent. It is tantamount to meeting a woman on a date and she is showing you pictures of her kids, or grandchildren, or pets. I am here to hopefully meet a woman, and not a woman and her pet(s) in between us as we talk on the couch.

But even that’s mild compare to this sweet lady who wants “someone to watch thrilleres and wwe wrestling with”

About my life and what I’m looking for
im over weight want to lose want someone to help me lose i hate the way i look have lots of love to give i like to cuddle and kiss. like to hold hands and would like romantic walks. just being with the person.

for fun:
i like wwe wrestling while being cuddled like to play computer games in my night shirt

my ethnicity:
i like to stay with my kind

 

my religion:
i should go back to church but cant get up and do it.

favorite hot spots:
i like to go to wendys and burgur king but i do like nice resturantes

favorite things:
i like watching tv alot and i like steack rare

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