Pittsburgh Online Dating – Feeding at an Endless Buffet?
BlueEyes1962 19 Jun 2008 | : He/She Said That?
I had lunch with a good friend I met through Match.com today, and we talked about long-term dating goals. He said he was “looking for someone who would make him stop looking,” which I thought was rather clever. Brian is in his mid 50′s and has been divorced for over 10 years but none of his previous relationships through online dating have been really serious. I asked him why not.
“Online dating is like a huge buffet,” he said. “It’s hard not to be continually thinking that something better might be out there. So you don’t invest as heavily in who you are seeing because you know there are always other options.”
I think this is an issue. The old way, when you met people through “natural means” – your social set, the neighborhood hang-outs, friends who knew someone else single, etc. – you might meet an eligible prospect a few times a year.
But now, with online dating, suddenly it seems every available person in Pittsburgh (and Western PA, Northern West Virginia, and Ohio) is online. It’s easy to feel like you are comparison shopping. No one is perfect, but you can date and compare 5-10 likely candidates at the same time. As you cycle through relationships, it might give you less incentive to make your current relationship work.
NetDatingPro referred to this in this post about Online Dating Addictions
PS. As far as how many people I might really meet outside the internet, I can only guess. I met my ex-husband when I still in college in San Francisco, and the city was teaming with young singles of all stripes. But as a Mt. Lebanon mom in my mid-40′s with teenage children, I have no idea how I would meet single men if were not for the internet. They aren’t hanging out with the neighborhood ladies as we get together for our weekly cocktails at 5:00 PM on Fridays, they aren’t sitting in the bleachers with me at my kids’ track meets (my ex usually is), and they aren’t trolling in the produce section of the South Hills Market District grocery store. So where the heck do I find single guys (outside of the internet) if I don’t want to spend the rest of my life celibate?