Pittsburgh Online Dating Profile Gems 4 – Great One Liners
Posted by BlueEyes1962 on 08 May 2008 at 05:42 pm | Tagged as: Bizarre Profiles
Real lines from Pittsburgh area online dating profiles:
When I read what men are looking for I’m amazed at how close I fit their wish lists.
I learned at a very young age that I was a terrible liar when I tried to convince my mom that someone else peed in my pants.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot…I’m hot.
Feed me carbs and I’ll be happy. Touch my feet just right and I will stalk u
I’m not changing my life, I’m kicking it to the curb and getting a better one.
im a clean freek i like a clean house a nice yard clean car truck im vary clean person and i hope to fine someone almost like me.
If you think I’m going to be your sugar mama and support your sorry ass b/c you think I get a chunk of change for child support NEED NOT APPLY…GET A JOB.
Men, if you are not over your ex’s and and they are still pestering you, please move on. Life is way too darn short to have to deal with that crap.
NO rednecks, bubba’s or men that decorate their homes w/dead animals. NO recreational drug users, smokers, or PLAYERS!
mommas boys
pussy whipped
whore
limp wristed
metro men
wrapped around your wife’s finger
NEED NOT APPLY!!!I see myself with a mate who is kind, sensitive and caring. A man who is not into abusing women or children.
Sexually inexperienced is OK, as long as your trainable, sexually stunted or defective is not OK, and you know who you are.
I like it when women are blunt and direct in their profiles! Down with platitudinous fluff! “I’m looking for a man that is honest and fun-loving. I enjoy moonlit walks on the beach. I love puppies. The sun rises in the East. Fish love water…”
Here are a few of my favorite lines from match.com profiles–my own comments in parentheses:
Under “About me and what I’m looking for:”
Two of my greatest accomplishments are, I’ve never shot a gun, and I’ve never been in a fight.
I hate to argue, but don’t mind disgussing things.
(Discussing or disgusting, I wonder? This may make a difference in whether I respond to your ad….)
I’m not perfect but I am always willing to work towards a mutual benefit. To Be A Good Winner, Sometimes You Have To Be A Good Looser.
(But exactly how much looser?)
I consider myself to be a man of character and seriousness, but I do not take myself too seriously.
Right now, you are probably glancing at my picture, scanning my profile and asking yourself, “Why would I want to spend any time with this guy even in a virtual setting?” Good question.
I don’t go to church, but God and I are cool.
(Really? Because that’s not what God told me…)
I haven’t been very successful in finding someone who didn’t have alterior motives …..My parents were a big influence and believed that people judge us by the words we use. Internally, I cringe when someone speaks in double negatives, e.g. “we don’t got no more of dat”.
I scared off all the guys in NC, so I’m hoping to have better luck here.
I like reading the Sunday paper. It’s not what’s in the paper but the act of reading it that I enjoy.
someone who wants to visit a tomb memorial artist some day and have her name chisled into a tombstone beside mine and leaving the died side blank and hoping and wishing on everything we love that the died date is the same so that we can start our first day on the job as angels together
Me, well what can I say, I’m a single mother with 2 boys. That’s a dirt-filled backyard whether you like it or not.
Does it bother anyone else when people can’t even spell their occupation, their church, or their ethnicity?
Samples:
my religion: First christion chirch deciples of christ
my ethnicity: German and Chezch
my ethnicity: I am mostly polish with some slavish blood.
occupation: I am a regastered nurse I work at a hospital on the cardiac unit.
occupation: seceratial,it’s a job
I am a learning junkie. I love acedamia.
Agree with you completely PITTPROF-bad spelling is a deal breaker especially when someone is talking about something that should be important!
Well, I obviously would not be a good match for PITTPROF – I can’t spell to save my life – as you might have noticed reading my blog!
Spelling is important – but humility, open-mindedness, respect, honesty, and a lot of other things are so much more important. I know some very good spellers who lack these vital characteristics, and I’d take a bad speller over a close-minded snob any day!
Point taken BlueEyes 1962!