PittProf is fussy about spelling errors (see How Honest Should You Be?) while Treefrog warns about weeding out the psychos (see Dating Strategies – What Works?) From a story that PittProf shared with me, it appears that he can’t see the forest for the trees (or can’t see the psychos for the apostrophes).

Sophie caught PittProf’s bespectacled eye with one paragraph in her profile:

favorite hot spots:
I would take you for a long drive along the Mon to trespass abandoned steel
mills, discover outrageous biker bars, & and explore other cultural
treasures. My favorite hot movie – Secretary.

Sophie was also scholarly – she did research for a Pittsburgh company on the sociology of dating. And she could spell. She sounded interesting and different, and they went on several dates, and things started to heat up. But then PittProf (AKA “Charles”) began to have second thoughts, and he put on the brakes some. The emails below tell the story from there.

From: Sophie
Date: Sunday, November 12, 2006 2:42 PM
To: Charles
Subject: Touching Base

Charles -
I don’t think we are a good match after all.
The best of luck in your search!
Sophie
———-
From: Charles
Date: Sunday, November 12, 2006 2:51 PM
To: Sophie
Subject: RE: Touching Base

This time I get to ask: what makes you say that?
(I’m not planning to argue about it; just curious)
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Sunday, November 12, 2006 3:06 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Touching Base

Ahh – this is a tough one, but here we go. For one, I somehow had the feeling that something changed since the last time we met – perhaps because you met someone you are more interested in. Then – I noticed that you showed a somewhat limited interest in me – as a person, by, for example, not asking more questions about my background etc. Three – a bit of a lack of generosity – it would have been nice to be treated to a soup, rather than asking me to chip in, given that your income is probably much higher than mine.

Hope this is not too blunt – but I am usually very straightforward, especially when people ask.

It really was very nice to have met you – and I am not angry or anything like that. I just honestly think we may not be a good match.

All the best,
Sophie

Back to my paper.

Charles let a couple days pass before responding

From: Charles
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 3:14 PM
To: Sophie
Subject: thoughts

I still like you and I think I’d enjoy staying in touch via email, e.g. I could send you Pittsburgh political news, if you want, and perhaps you could keep me up-to-date on your dating research :-) ?

How’s the paper?
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 4:05 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: thoughts

PAPER IS STILL NOT DONE – HAVEN’T HAD A MELTDOWN LIKE THIS SINCE MY LAST GRANT SUBMISSION BUT AM DETERMINED TO GET IT OUT BY 12:30PM TOMORROW. MAJOR TORTURE. DO STAY IN TOUCH –!
———-
From: Charles
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 4:22 PM
To: Sophie
Subject: paper

Good luck with the paper
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 4:24 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: paper

What about our relationship?
———-
From: Charles
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 4:36 PM
To: Sophie
Subject: RE: paper

Well, it’s over — the romantic part, anyway — as far as I’m
concerned.

We can be friends and keep in touch, as I suggested, however.
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 5:10 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: paper

Fuck you!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 5:14 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: paper

Please do not contact me again.
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 5:27 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: paper

Do not contact me again please!!!!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 6:46 PM
To: Charles
Subject: FW: You are a jerk!
>From: Sophie
>Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 5:29 PM
>To: Sophie
>Subject: You are a jerk!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 6:55 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: You are a jerk!

Please do not contact me again!!!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:00 PM
To: Charles
Subject: FW: You are a jerk!
>From: Sophie
>Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 6:52 PM
>To: Sophie
>Subject: RE: You are a jerk!

Really – do not ever contact me again.
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:01 PM
To: Sophie; Charles
Subject: RE: You are a jerk!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:04 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: paper
Importance: High
Do not contact me again please!!!!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:13 PM
To: Charles
Subject: You are out – please delete from your e-mail list
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:32 PM
To: Charles
Subject: RE: You are out – please delete from your e-mail list

Do not contact me again please!!!!
———-
From: Sophie
Date: Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:50 PM
To: Charles
Subject: fuck you

For two days, the emails stopped. Then Charles got one more.

From: Sophie
Date: Thu, November 16, 2006 6:57 PM
To: Charles
Subject: My deepest apologies!!!

Charles -

I am feeling horribly ashamed – sorry, sorry, sorry!!! Terrible day working on the paper and other things gong on.

You’re behavior throughout all of this was great – I think our decision was right and I am certain that you will end up finding someone who is good for you.

Please – do accept my apologies.

Sophie

Charles never emailed her after that, lest the floodgates open again. Not even to point out that she’d misspelled “your”.

I wonder how her paper came out.

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