Internet Dating can make for some interesting email exchanges. Here’s one I had that I had to abort – but I must say UNIQUE was persistent – and he had a mission.

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Hi BlueEyes,
very nice photos; i would be surprised if your figure did not match your pretty face;
~Unique

Unique
I think I have a cute figure too, although i must tell you that my first Match date (and my first date in 22 years) was kind enough to suggest that if i had the money I might consider breast implants. If you like slim women, chances are they won’t be really big up front unless they have had some help, and since I run and work out, that’s not something I’m seriously considering.
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
you sound just fine ; do you have a chat program? and you listed your butt as your best feature; why is that so?
~Unique

Unique
I won the “Best Butt” award my first year in college. No chat – I am way too slow at typing. I am not afraid of a telephone call though. And I’ll talk or meet and have coffee with anyone – its getting the second date that hard.
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
i see; are you a steelers fan?
~Unique

Unique
not really a Steelers fan
~BlueEyes

Hi BlueEyes
i may have to seduce you into being a steeler fan…..correct me if i am wrong, but a nice butt usually has nice legs; is that so? oh, also, are you a fake nail or acryllic nail person? I think natural nail, with no polish or clear polish is very sexy.
~Unique

Unique
Now we may be in real trouble – I am a real nail person but have terrible nails. I am a nail biter. If this is a deal breaker i don’t mind – rather find out now that later. It was either this or the photos of my dog I was about to send you.
~BlueEyes

(note: see Love Me Love My Dog – this was Unique’s Profile)

BlueEyes
let me ask you this, i have an erotic side to me; how would hat appeal to you….do your nails look as if you bite them?
~Unique

Unique
yup – they look terrible. If you have a thing for nails I am not your girl!
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
that is ok, better than acryllic stuff; so do you have nice legs with that nice butt, and what about my erotic side; would that appeal to you?
~Unique

Unique
I would hope you have an erotic side – but is this a nice way of saying you want something sexual right away? What are your expectations with all of this?
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
no, not a nice way of saying that right away…
~Unique

Unique
then what do you mean about having an erotic side – i hope we all do unless we are already dead…. isn’t that why we want to date rather than just have a bunch of friends? You are good with words – you can help me out here….
~BlueEyes

hi BlueEyes
that is true; erotica can be misconstrued as sexual passion and desire; that is just the basics of it; it entails fantasies, actually done or thought of and shared to see if two people are compatible in that area..
~Unique

Unique
So you like sexual fantasies. With me it wouldn’t happen right away. Flirting is easy, but acting on the flirtations is not something I would do right away.
Always better to be very clear about these things… most of life is managing expectations…
you can drop out of this conversation at any time.
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
i am not dropping out; do you want me too? do you ever smoke when social drinking?
~Unique

Unique
yes – but I try not too. Alcohol is a depressant, and nicotine s a stimulant, so if I drink too much I feel like smoking. So I try not to drink too much. 2-3 drinks is really my limit.
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
were you referring to pot too?
~Unique

Unique
When you say something I make the mistake of taking the most innocent meaning. Last time I smoked pot was in college many years ago. I don’t love it – it makes me feel “away” and I prefer to be feel “here.”
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
would you be open to doing it again? I have had it a time and like it
~Unique

Unique
I am open to almost anything – but I don’t want to start smoking pot regularly. Do you do this drill with all your match dates? I feel like you have about 15 test questions for me. It would be more efficient just to type them up and ask me all at once!
I see you enjoy the chase and I am of a much more practical nature. Spit it all out and I will either say yes or no and you can move on….
~BlueEyes

BlueEyes
oh,, it would not be regular at all; i find you sexy. So you would be open to almost anything; does that include sexual?
~Unique

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I ended the email then. Although “Unique” did email back a few more times, I never responded. I do abuse my fingernails – something a guy with a thing for fingernails could never have tolerated, so I thought it best to cut it off then, before we got into his fantasies.

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