I moved here 10 years ago form Washington DC, and moved not only to the Pittsburgh area, but into Pleasantville (otherwise known as Mt. Lebanon) a quaint old fashioned neighborhood where the kid walk to school, the moms are active in the PTA, and the neighbors get together for happy hours and block parties.

Having lived all over North America, and in much more transient places (DC, San Francisco, Toronto, Boston, Montreal) I quickly learned that everyone knows everyone in Pittsburgh, and you really didn’t have any secrets. Which is fine with me because I don’t have many – I try to live my life as an open book.

The first time I dated through Match.com (after I went off for a week or two to re-group after my first date he told me to get a boob job) I had about 8 coffees, picked the guy I liked the most, and informed him that I was going to see him exclusively. ZZUG was not sure this was a good idea – he suggested I shop around for a while, but I said that after 20 years of being with the same guy, I was barely up to dating at all, and certainly not capable of juggling multiple dates and I had picked him. Since his profile was impossible and he wasn’t getting a lot of activity himself, he didn’t complain. We dated for 6 weeks.

When that didn’t work out, and I went back up on Match, I decided to try another tactic. I decided to shop as he suggested, and met and went out with a lot of “prospects.” I was honest with all of them – explaining that I was not even divorced yet and not ready to settle down soon – no point jumping out of the frying pan right into another one. Might as well jump into the fire for a while and see if I could take the heat.

This has lead to a few interesting encounters. “Date A” picked me up one morning to take me out, and as soon as I sat down in his car, he asked me how “Date B” was doing. I looked at him in surprise – I did not know that he knew “B.” He didn’t, but he was good friends with “Girl C” a woman he had met on Match who had become a good friend. “C” had dated “B” and they were also good friends. So “B” told “C” about me, who told “A”, who confronted me in the car. It was all so delicious I had to laugh – not only is Pittsburgh already a “small town with tall buildings” (Jay Speyerer’s expression) but the Pittsburgh Match community turns out to be rather close knit.

This did not surprise me. Many of my girlfriends on Match have met, emailed or dated men who have winked or emailed me. We compare notes – we ARE women and we talk! I was warned to avoid this one because he had a substance abuse problem, and that one was sweet but appeared to be battling some inner demons.

Sometimes I feel like I am back in High School, when we all knew each other and who was seeing who. I have avoided dating across state lines, figuring there must be enough eligible men right here in Pittsburgh and I didn’t have to drive to Wheeling or Columbus to meet someone. Only now am I seeing the possible appeal!

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