NYIF had many great moments – not just suggesting I get breast implants and my teeth filed on our first date. We were both Catholic (in fact NYIF had a prominent position in Pittsburgh diocese), and discussed how we could reconcile dating other people while still being married in the eyes of the church. NYIF volunteered that he had his rules about this, and that he subscribed to Bill Clinton’s definition of sex.

Wanting to know what I might be signing up for, I googled this, and found insight in Bill Clinton & The Definition of “Sexual Relations” from bandersnatch.com

One must remember that Clinton was 51, meaning he developed his definitions of sexual relations back in high school in the 1960′s… it is quite possible that Clinton, as many fellow baby boomers, does not consider fellatio to be “sexual relations”.

The phenomena of young ladies drawing a firm (but exceedingly fine) line between all manners of sexual arousal and intercourse (not the term actually used in the situation) was especially evident in extremely religious young women of the time… Apparently school yard Catholic dogma of the time defined “sex” as fornication, a serious sin, and … oral stimulation as maybe not even worthy of confession.

I guess that would explain why it was so important that NYIF’s date’s teeth be filed smooth.

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